My writing assesment

The view was AMAZING! Marching down to the picnic, you could see the sun's reflection flickering on the waters surface. In my head I could just see visions of how much fun we would be having at our annual school picnic. Upon our arrival we were asked to sit down.The day was just about to unfold.

“Strike three your out” Mr Jacobson yelled as I swung for the softball once again. I walked to the back of the line with my head hung down to the ground.But in a matter of time it was again raised as I smashed the ball for a home run. “BOOYAH” I thought in my head at that moment! After my adrenaline calmed down, I went away in search of something else to do. Immediately my stomach rumbled and I knew what.

The sweetness of it was amazing! My teeth gashed its way into my watermelon. My stomach was soon filled. Sitting up one the bank I could see team 3 splashing and diving as the indulged themselves into the water. I thought “ Man I wish I had bought my togs with me. What a bummer!

“Watch out Kayde, Joe is coming” Matthew screamed at the top of his lungs! We had started a game of tiggy. I sprinted and swerved, and crouched down below Mrs Slade's car. " I think we lost him bro," I whispered to Matthew. But then the next minute we were spotted. We had no choice but to run for it as the chasers closed in on us. We were out in an instant as Joe had set up a trap!

Feeling exhausted after that hardcore game of tiggy the end of the day had come .I can barely go on as our school took the walk back to school. Physically drained, it was as if a giant pulled out a humongous straw and drank out of me. But I still had that bit of energy Left and I made it back to school. “AAAH” I muttered to myself! What a stinker, that was my last picnic of my PES life.